Things

November 29, 2007 at 11:02 pm (Money)

I got the job I have been pining over for the past 11.87 months. It took the better part of a year, but I will finally be performing job functions and receiving compensation commensurate to my interests and qualifications. Yay me. I am starting to compile a list of Things I want to buy once January 17 arrives, and I get my first paycheck at my new salary. I actually start working December 27, but since I had a previously scheduled vacation, I won’t actually report to work until Jan. 2. A New Year, indeed. And what better way to make a splash at a new new job than by taking a few days off?

Item number one on my list of Things is a new set of brakes for my bike. I ride my bike nearly every day, unless it is REALLY raining, which despite our reputation out here, isn’t that often. You know how a cable is usually comprised of many small wires wound up together? (like how the Golden Gate Bridge is suspended by one 2 cables, each made of 128 cables, each made of 128 smaller cables?) Well my rear brake is functioning by ONE of those cables. If you saw the street I ride down at rush hour, you would appreciate how close to death I have been for the past month.

Item number two is a new set of headphones. The MILF who sits next to me at work lets me use her computer on Fridays when she isn’t there, (my computer almost qualifies for Antiques Roadshow) and I have extended that permission to include her headphones, which are identical to my factory-issued IPod buds. I had no idea how much mine totally suck. I guess blasting Ministry while running on a treadmill over 3 years will do that.

Item number 3 is a completely new wardrobe. I am coasting on old Christmas presents and Goodwill gems. You remember that Seinfeld joke about men and their underwear? I used to think that was a joke.

Item number 4 is I am going to start using my heater. I have actually already indulged in that luxury, and will just put the next bill on my credit card. Yeah bitchez.

Item number 5: no more Safeway brand condensed soup for lunch. In fact, my diet will improve dramatically across the board. Basically, I am just looking forward to not worrying about whether I can afford cheese when I go to the store.

Item number 6: Skiing! We already have snow! Full tank of gas, here I come!

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Quote of the day

November 29, 2007 at 10:27 pm (Quote of the day)

“She’s leaving shampoo here now?”

-The first thing I said after I got out of bed this morning

I mean seriously, what’s next, a fucking toothbrush?  Dirty socks I can understand, I mean that might be an accident, but this strikes me as a major unilateral escalation.

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Cats that look like Hitler

November 17, 2007 at 1:57 pm (Humor)

You heard me.

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A Mi Manera

November 1, 2007 at 11:10 pm (Random)

I still get emails every week from sitemeter detailing my traffic stats on this blog. Despite the fact that I am not nearly as blogtastic as I would like to be, I still appear to have some regular visitors. I appreciate that, I really do. It’s been a crazy 6 weeks or so, so here’s a brief summary. Since mid September, I have

– Traveled across the country twice, including a vacation with the ‘Rents, where we stayed in a cabin in West Virginia frequented by Robert E. Lee after The War. Here is photographic evidence that these places still exist, from our living room:

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– Gone to Vermont, had a reunion with many of my college friends, and watched one of my best friends get hitched

– Hosted a few buddies for a weekend of utter debauchery, in which we (read : I) caused significant property damage at an undisclosed location. Don’t worry guys, he has been back for almost a week, and hasn’t noticed. So at this point, it happened in the Safeway parking lot, as far as I am concerned.

– Met a girl, who I am starting to like a lot. Actually, I started to like her a lot a few weeks ago. I will not repeat my previous mistake and alert her to the existence of this blog, so stay tuned for potentially juicy updates.

– Voted yes on Measures 49 and 50, unlike Liza, who loves Philip Morris and hates impoverished children, and therefore voted no on 50 (sorry, that was an anonymous dig on the afforementioned New Girl.)

– Discovered my new favorite band: the Gipsy Kings, who are singlehandedly going to reinvigorate my interests in guitar playing and Spanish speaking

– Had an interview for the job I have been eyeing since I got my masters degree 10 months ago, and am now a “finalist.” Pretty soon I may not be able to bitch about my perpetual lack of money and professional gratification anymore. I eagerly await that day, and so should you.

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It’s official

November 1, 2007 at 10:42 pm (Music, Portland)

Portland has finally been completely overtaken by hipsters.  Open mic bluegrass night at the Alberta Street Pub, my bar, is over, and has been replaced by traveling shitheads from Witchita and Minnesota who frequently employ accordians and clarinets.  God help me.

I realize this probably isn’t the best way to break a nearly 2 month blog silence.  I just can’t believe my only mid week solace has been co-opted by a bunch of 23 year old Radiohead wannabes.

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