February 24, 2008 at 8:47 pm (Humor, Parkersburg, Television)

If the title of this post means anything to you, you absolutely must click here. Even if it doesn’t, and you want to see some really bad local commercials, do it.

Personally, I am glad to finally see what Kenny looks like. The last time I lived in the Burg, it was apparently before WTAP was capable of producing its own video. I had no idea what I was missing.

UPDATE: you know you are accessing something from Parkersburg when download times are listed for dial-up and ISDN only.


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September 13, 2007 at 9:00 pm (law, Rant, society, Television)

I pay 14 bucks a month for basic cable. I get the networks, football without static, public access, and a few randoms line E!, Discovery Channel, and C-Span. I have heard about the concept of a la carte cable, where you pay only for the channels you will actually watch. When that happens the American Revolution will finally be over. I know that I end up watching crap I wouldn’t otherwise, on random weekday nights. Exhibit 1: The Scrubs Rerun Network (which probably has another name). Exhibit 2: The Girls Next Door. I originally thought it was a documentary on Why The Terrorists Hate Us, but it is apparently a real series. Exhibit 3: I am watching C-Span. Check that, C-Span Two.

Why? Because the tag line on the bottom of the screen says “Cable TV must allow a la carte content rules.” OMG! I am so excited. Except they are talking about bandwidth limitations that prevent effective nationwide deployment of Wireless Enhanced 911 Services. Huh? Who cares about 911? I just want ESPN and Comedy Central.

I went to the FCC website to view the agenda from Tuesday’s meeting. I don’t see anything on there about me not having to stream pirated Jon Stewart monologues. But I am smart, so I used thinking and decided that the following agenda item is what I am after:

Implementation of the Cable Television Consumer Protection and Competition Act of 1992; Development of Competition and Diversity in Video Programming Distribution, Section 628(c)(5) of the Communications Act, Sunset of Exclusive Contract Prohibition (MB Docket No. 07-29); and Review of the Commission’s Program Access Rules and Examination of Programming Tying Arrangements.

But that is item 5! This thing just started; it will be hours before they get to the good stuff! Why is C-Span resorting to sensationalism to attract viewers? I don’t know what irks me more, that they blatantly lie about what is being discussed to make it seem interesting to channel surfers, or that it works. I am still watching it.

In related news, the Family and Consumer Choice Act of 2007 has in fact been introduced in Congress. Thank you, Janet Jackson’s nipple.

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The Biggest Losers

September 11, 2007 at 8:31 pm (Television)

Are the contestants on The Biggest Loser.  Actually, it is probably the person who watches The Biggest Loser, which tonight at least, includes me.  It’s the season premiere, so we get all the dramatic tear-jerking backstories, and the shirtless guys who are shocked, shocked! that they weigh 367 lbs.  “I never put myself an ounce over 350, I swear!”

Ok, this is admittedly a little harsh.  Good for those people, who clearly have no shame.  I definitely think people should lose weight if they want to; I can sympathize, having been quite fat myself a few years ago.  But my goodness, if there is a surer sign that our civilization is going the way of Rome, a bunch of fat asses sitting on the couch, watching a TV show about fat people trying to lose weight, I don’t know what it is.

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Walker, Texas Ranger

August 14, 2007 at 8:21 pm (Television)

My question isn’t whether this show has won any Emmys, but how many.  Not whether, but how many.

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