Does anyone wonder

April 25, 2007 at 11:33 pm (Uncategorized)

how many people pray each night

that John Paul Stevens will die?


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I like Ted

April 25, 2007 at 10:28 pm (Beer, Politics)

The governor of Oregon, Ted Kulongoski, is a typical career politician. He was a legislator, a Supreme Court justice, and has been the guv since ought-three. A lifelong bureaucrat, and a tool of the labor union lobby, he is the Democrat’s Democrat. But he is also a fundamentally decent person. This is how you know.

Looking to call attention to the state’s ongoing battle to reduce poverty and hunger, Kulongoski and his wife, Mary Oberst, pledged to spend a week eating only the provisions they could buy for $42 — the average allotment for two people on food stamps. As Kulongoski discovered when he grabbed three boxes of off-brand mac and cheese, it’s tough going.

That’s what they’ll eat and drink this week — no exceptions. Kulongoski has sworn off meals at conferences and restaurants. He’s even forbidden to tap his “beer fridge,” a separate cooler at Mahonia Hall filled with various labels of his favorite beverage.

What I want to know is, where is this unguarded fridge?

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The real burning question

April 24, 2007 at 5:51 pm (Music, Rant)

“If I just lay here…will you lie with me…and…pretend that this fucking song isn’t on the goddamn radio for the 400th fucking time today???” Jesus Tapdancing Christ, if I ever meet the guy who wrote that song, I’m going to kick him in the fucking balls!! “Look maw, ah kin play octaves on mah git-tar!” Nothing in the world is more depressing than some pierced, tattooed 30-something sellout pandering to a bunch of teeny-boppers. Seriously, is there an adult on the planet who listens to this crap?

Sorry, I had to balance out that last post.

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April 24, 2007 at 5:50 pm (Personal)

Since my negligence has likely scared off even my most loyal readers, I figured I’d fall out of character for a moment and pour my heart out to the internets. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I have “a thing” for this girl that I work with. Well that thing has morphed into an utterly consuming, burning desire, the likes of which I have not felt for a long, long time. Possibly ever. She sits right next to me. Every word out of her mouth, every sigh, every movement, every stroke of her keyboard, drives me absolutely crazy. I can’t concentrate at work. I can’t concentrate at home. I can’t fall asleep, and when I do, she is in my dreams. We work together on a project, and she has been a mentor to me for the past few months. We have a few after-work meetings coming up, one of which is on Tuesday. Normally we would go out and get a bite to eat afterwards, and I don’t know if I am going to able to contain myself this time. I might have to tell her my true feelings. I want to go out to eat with her on a Friday. Abandon the work pretext. But I can’t date someone I work with. It is the Prime Directive. Luckily I will only work there for a few more weeks. I might just go for it anyway. I was going to wait until my last week, but I don’t know if I can. If I can’t touch her hair, kiss her neck, feel her body against mine, in the very near future, I will go crazy. I am ninety percent certain the feeling is mutual. Not knowing for sure is making me insane. But it is the most beautiful kind of insanity. Going to work each morning is both my favorite and least favorite thing to do. What will I do if she rejects me? I will be devastated. In my mind we are already married, and have 2 beautiful children. As beautiful as April. Thoughts I have never had before. People know. It must show on my face. They can see it in the way I look at her, the way I talk to her, the way I drop whatever I am doing to help her with her work. I would pick up her dry cleaning if she asked me to. She must know as well. She must see it. I see it in her. But I am afraid it is only my reflection.

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