Garfield minus Garfield

February 26, 2008 at 7:48 pm (Humor)

Oh my.  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  Actually, I laughed so hard I cried.  That might just be because I was such a huge Garfield fan when I was a kid.  I am assuming that these are actual Garfield cartoons, with the cat and his thoughts airbrushed out.  Whether or not that’s true, this is one of the most hilariously disturbing things I have ever seen.  This might not be work safe.  I had to go to the bathroom…seriously, I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.

Here is what the site says about itself:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor (sic) disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life?

Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.

Via

Call Kimmy, Jon.  You have nothing to lose.

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1-800-LeakyBA

February 24, 2008 at 8:47 pm (Humor, Parkersburg, Television)

If the title of this post means anything to you, you absolutely must click here. Even if it doesn’t, and you want to see some really bad local commercials, do it.

Personally, I am glad to finally see what Kenny looks like. The last time I lived in the Burg, it was apparently before WTAP was capable of producing its own video. I had no idea what I was missing.

UPDATE: you know you are accessing something from Parkersburg when download times are listed for dial-up and ISDN only.

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Cats that look like Hitler

November 17, 2007 at 1:57 pm (Humor)

You heard me.

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Cheezburger

September 3, 2007 at 7:03 pm (Humor)

I’ve been feeling a little guilty for leaving Willie home a lone all weekend, while I was up in Seattle giving my liver a much needed endurance test.  So, to make amends, I thought I would post a link to a site with absurdly cute cat pictures.  You’ve been warned.

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Headline of the Day

August 14, 2007 at 8:23 pm (Humor, Justice, Portland, Random)

Bank robbed by clown.

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I thought I knew

July 8, 2007 at 12:15 am (Humor, Justice, Portland)

Where The Simpsons are from.  In “Behind the Laughter” (BABF19) the narrator ends by saying:

The Simpsons’ bitter past was forgotten, and now the future looks brighter than ever for this northern Kentucky family.

That was a few years ago, and I thought the issue was settled.  But the source I am citing says that it was

Replaced with “southern Missouri” on subsequent airings

I have never heard that.  But it’s ok, because everyone knows that The Simpsons are from Oregon.  If anyone bothers to dispute that, I’ll provide many a link as evidence.

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Cognitive Dissonance

March 26, 2007 at 3:12 pm (Humor, Quote of the day, Work)

I never do this, post from work, but this couldn’t wait.  I saw a job posting today that I am very interesting in responding to.  What follows is a snippet from the announcement.  I have not altered this in any way:

“To be considered for either of the current vacancies, in addition to your cover letter and résumé, you must also respond to the following corresponding selective certification question(s). Selective certification responses are optional. Failure to respond to one or more of these questions will not affect your placement on the eligible list.”

[Insert hackneyed joke about government employees here]  So what’s my next move?

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Best of nominee

February 19, 2007 at 7:54 pm (Humor)

Yes, I have been hanging around on craigslist again. I just nominated this for best of. Here are some highlights, interspersed with my smarmy yet sometimes relevant comments:

Are you interested in being a co-parent?

…I would love to have kids and feel that it would be beneficial to everyone if my child had as many parents to love them as possible.

Why not ask your lesbian life partner? Oh, she doesn’t want to have kids? Doesn’t that constitute “irreconcilable differences?”

I am looking only for men who are SERIOUS about this.

Which is why I am posting it on craigslist’s “women seeking men” page…most guys are on here becuse they haven’t been able to knock some random chick up.

Someone who believes strongly in attachment style parenting, and who is willing to be an active and loving participant in a child’s life.

She had me until this line. When I have a kid, I will show them a detached indifference, occasionally shouting “you ruined my fucking life you little weasel!!” before sending them to bed hungry.

I don’t think I am looking for a 50/50 parenting relationship. I want to be a primary parent but would love to have maybe a 75/25 ratio.

My lawyer will have a heyday with this one. What happens when “scope creep” sets in, and daddy tries to teach the little bastard how to throw a baseball, but you have plans to go to Lilith Fair? Do you keep a record of time spent to ensure the agreed upon ratio of parental responsibility?

My child will not eat crap that is passed off as food, will be birthed at home and breastfed until whenever…

Ok, that’s just creepy. No baby should EVER remember being breastfed. I think Freud’s mother nursed him until he was 14.

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Tony Romo is going to the Pro Bowl

January 7, 2007 at 4:18 am (Humor, Sports)

And Lord, does he deserve it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Dallas Sucks!!!

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Humor

November 29, 2006 at 2:26 am (Humor)

If you are like me, you could use a good laugh. Try this:

1. next time you are at work, approach your least favorite co-worker’s computer when he/she is not there.

2. Press ctrl-alt-down arrow (test in on your computer first, it doesn’t work on all computers. But if it does you know how to fix it.)

3. Stay within earshot as hilarity ensues.

Or, you could just click here. Use headphones if you are at work, and listen to part one first (which for some reason is listed after part 2)

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