Jack in the Box nutrition calculator

June 15, 2008 at 7:31 pm (food)

Salad, burger, fries, shake:

3,571.3 calories

209 grams fat

86.6 grams saturated fat

18.2 grams trans fat

4,850.5 milligrams sodium

130 grams sugar



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A Midsummer Night’s Haiku

August 15, 2007 at 8:57 pm (food, poetry)

Oh sweet sweet mango

In my motherfucking mouth

I want another

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Nutrition Update

August 14, 2007 at 8:26 pm (Beer, food, Health)

I have found lately that I’m not eating much for dinner.  I have further found that food takes up valuable stomach real estate, that the Free Market best allocates to beer.  A 12-pack of Hamm’s in a can goes a long way to meeting the body’s caloric needs.

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49 bottles of beer on the floor

July 2, 2007 at 10:34 pm (Beer, food)

That’s what you’ll see when you walk in my kitchen.  In 2 weeks, The Glove’s Extra Special Bitter will be ready for the imbibing.   I’ve learned a few things in past brewing attempts, and I have a pretty good feeling about this one.  It actually tasted pretty good flat and warm.  If anyone out there knows how to filter beer, so that it doesn’t have a little layer of yeast at the bottom of each bottle, please let me know.  From what I understand if you don’t have some yeast in the bottle it won’t carbonate.

Today’s summer recipe: sautee some zucchini, onions, garlic and rosemary, place it on top of some greens with a dollop or 2 of yogurt.  It is especially good if you grew the zucchini, rosemary and greens in you own garden.  Yes I am a total tool.  Does anyone want some zucchini?  I have enough right now to choke a camel.

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Dave’s Killer Bread

May 8, 2007 at 8:14 pm (food)

If you haven’t ever eaten Dave’s Killer Bread, you are doing yourself a disservice. Of course, if you don’t live in Portland, you can’t, so nyaah! It is hands down the best sliced, pre-packaged bread in the world. For some reason I read the back of the package today, and it turns out that Dave has spent 15 years in the slammer, where he found his calling. It occurred to me, did this guy kill someone? Is Killer Bread a pun, akin to Mark’s Pederast Cream Cheese, another local favorite (not really)?

So I went to the website and read “Dave’s story,” and it turns out he was a simple drug dealer and small time thug. Supply and demand, right? You should read it, it is actually pretty inspiring.

You can meet Dave at the Saturday Farmer’s Market, next to Smith. I recommend the Powerseed. It’s killer.

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Benjamin Franklin on Vegetarianism

February 15, 2007 at 5:43 pm (Benjamin Franklin, food, Quote of the day)

I am in the middle of reading what is probably my favorite book, Ben Franklin’s Autobiography. I’m not sure why I like it so much, if it is the fact that he did everything a person could possibly do in that era, if it is the 18th century writing style; probably both. Here is a snippet:

I believe I have omitted mentioning that in my first Voyage from Boston, being becalm’d off Block Island, our people set about catching Cod & haul’d up a great many. Hitherto I had stuck to my Resolution of not eating animal Food; and on this Occasion, I consider’d with my Master Tryon, the taking every Fish as a kind of unprovok’d Murder, since none of them had or ever could do us any Injury that might justify the Slaughter. All this seem’d very reasonable. But I had formerly been a great Lover of Fish, & when this came hot out of the Frying Pan, it smelled admirably well. I balanc’d some time between Principle & Inclination: till I recollected, that when the Fish were opened, I saw smaller Fish taken out of their Stomachs: Then thought I, if you eat one another, I don’t see why we mayn’t eat you. So I din’d upon Cod very heartily and continu’d to eat with other People, returning only now & then to a vegetable Diet. So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable Creature, since it enables one to find or make a Reason for every thing one has a mind to do.

Take that, vegans.

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The Great Pumpkin

October 3, 2006 at 9:57 pm (food)

Me and the gf did something pretty cool the other day–we cooked a stew inside of a pumpkin. But now I have an entire cooked pumpkin in my fridge, and I’m not sure what to do with it. Ideas?

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Cooking with the Glove

September 28, 2005 at 4:54 am (food)

Two words: cous cous. Use it to replace that starchy rice or pasta your recipe calls for. It’s a good source of protein, fast and easy. If you can boil water you can make it, and it’s harder to ruin than cereal. Even jones could make it.

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