Advice

May 26, 2007 at 1:06 am (Random)

Our lives are nothing more than a series of moments, each individual, free-standing events that will never come again.  Cherish them, for they are all fleeting.

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Dave’s Killer Bread

May 8, 2007 at 8:14 pm (food)

If you haven’t ever eaten Dave’s Killer Bread, you are doing yourself a disservice. Of course, if you don’t live in Portland, you can’t, so nyaah! It is hands down the best sliced, pre-packaged bread in the world. For some reason I read the back of the package today, and it turns out that Dave has spent 15 years in the slammer, where he found his calling. It occurred to me, did this guy kill someone? Is Killer Bread a pun, akin to Mark’s Pederast Cream Cheese, another local favorite (not really)?

So I went to the website and read “Dave’s story,” and it turns out he was a simple drug dealer and small time thug. Supply and demand, right? You should read it, it is actually pretty inspiring.

You can meet Dave at the Saturday Farmer’s Market, next to Smith. I recommend the Powerseed. It’s killer.

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I’m not emo

May 6, 2007 at 7:40 pm (Random)

I finally broke down and took the emo quiz, as featured on some pop up ad.  Let me just say that the people who wrote this survery didn’t intend for people to score as low as I did.

If I had scored higher, I probably would have jumped off a bridge, which ironically, is pretty emo.

Just remember, if you want to be a non-conformist, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do.

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Potpourri

May 3, 2007 at 9:44 pm (Portland, Random)

Spring has officially sprung, so that can only mean that the season for door-to-door solicitations has arrived. This evening it was OSPIRG, begging for money to lobby for a renewable energy bill. The same bill that has absolutely no chance of not passing the through Democratic colon in Salem. I told the girl I am a grad student and can’t afford to contribute right now, but I do pay the additional .2 cents per kW/hr for wind-generated electricity. The last 2 parts of that statement are true. I plan to continue to exploit the possibility that I am a student, at least until I am completely gray.

A buddy of mine turns 30 this weekend, and in his aged wisdom, decided to celebrate on a Thursday. I finally went to Vendetta on N Williams and Skidmore, which has the nicest back patio I have seen in this city. It also has the unfortunate distinction of attracting the highest concentration of Fallout Boy fans and other assorted hipsters of any bar this side of the Mississippi (River). So I had a few beers, came home and voted. I love Oregon. Incidentally, I voted no on all ballot measures. In my mind I had penned a lengthy post as to why, but then I remembered that no one cares. For school board, I voted for those persons who appeared most physically attractive in their avatar. Incidentally, on page M-34 of the Voters’ Pamphlet, we are informed that “This voters’ pamphlet as week as other valuable information” is available on some web site. I wonder how many of the 500,000+ copies contained this informative message? My guess is all of them.

The 1-0 Portland Timbers are playing a Mexican Premiere League team on Wednesday in an exhibition match. I understand that beer will be available. Any takers?

One of the only reasons I pay for basic cable is so I can watch government hearings on public access. Yes, it is constant excitement here at jalalablog headquarters. Some guy from the Bureau of Environmental Services just handed over the mic to some other guy from PDOT, which is a clever acronym for the PortlanD Office of Transportation. He introduced his successor as from the Department of Transportation. It is a very common mistake. I can understand the average joe thinking it is a “department,” but some career bureaucrat should really know that there are no “departments” in city government…that’s just not what they’re called. A few weeks ago I heard the chairman of the fucking board of the PDC say the same thing at a City Club speech. I can’t even begin to explain how much that infuriates me.

Here is my list of the top 5 bass players in the history of rock music:

1. Victor Wooten
2. Les Claypool
3. John Paul Jones
4. Geddy Lee
5. Mike Gordon/Geezer Butler (tied)

Am I wrong?

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Bad Things Happen in Threes

May 1, 2007 at 10:43 pm (Personal)

…or so They say.  About 2 years ago, three really bad things happened to me, right in a row.  My girlfriend broke up with me (a blessing in disguise), an old friend and good friend’s sister died (no silver lining in that one…in fact it is still resonating), and, well, I don’t exactly know what the third thing was but I’m sure it sucked.

If the converse is true, I can’t wait until tomorrow.  I had my late work night tonight.  Afterwards the girl I wrote about the other day and I went out for dinner, and as usual we had a great time, talked, laughed, etc.  And now we are “going to go see some music” sometime.  It went pretty much exactly as I had envisioned.  That breeze you felt was me exhaling.  To top it all off, she plays the tablas.

When I got home there was a message on my machine informing me that I got a second interview for this job I really want.  They whittled it down from 108 to 7 people, for 2 positions.  So now I have 10 days to bask in the glory of potential full time employment, although I’m sure I’ll stress out like a mofo starting about noon next Tuesday.

I attribute this to my only superstition: only picking up pennies that are heads up.  I was walking home from work yesterday, and I saw a penny lying on the sidewalk tails up.  I paused and almost snatched it, until I remembered the adage that you will have good luck all day only if it is heads up, so I left it there.  I’m not that poor.  It kind of reminds me of this other time I had a really good day.

Now, it’s time to drink some beer and watch South Park reruns.  I really hope that’s not the third thing.

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