World Jump Day

October 31, 2005 at 7:32 am (Environment, Random)

Apparently this is serious. There is a movement afoot to curb global warming, not by altering our energy consumption patterns, but by altering the earth’s orbit. How to accomplish such a monumental task? By getting about 600 million people in the western hemisphere to jump at the same time. No kidding, there are graphs and everything, so it must be legit. I urge everyone to participate in what could be the most significant event in human history. Only 37 weeks until the big day!

But man I hope these scientists are right. I think there was an episode of Star Trek kind of like this once, but the guy was off in his calculations slightly and disaster ensued (I think Geordi eventually saved the day). What if one too many people jump, or they forget to factor in the morbid obesity rate of American civilazation, and earth goes careening into the sun? Things would probably only get a lot hotter in that case.

Advertisements

Permalink 2 Comments

Wookin’ Pa Nub

October 30, 2005 at 2:34 am (Random)

I have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow, so it looks like my Saturday night is going to consist of a grilled cheese and some old-fashioned web surfing. Who says we single graduate students don’t lead exciting lives?

Anyway, I was just farting around on craig’s list, and I found this keeper: Single, 35 year old grandmother, gastric bypass patient, seeks an honest man to raise her grandchildren. Be still, my beating heart.

—–

Permalink Leave a Comment

Sometimes you don’t need a title

October 28, 2005 at 8:19 pm (Random)

The only reason I wasn’t hungover when I left for work this morning is because I was still drunk.

And I don’t care how big your schnoz is, if you are a belly dancer you get double sexy points.

Permalink 1 Comment

Quote of the day

October 28, 2005 at 8:17 pm (Quote of the day)

“I don’t necessarily disagree with that, and I’m not sure other board members wouldn’t tend to agree with that also.”

That’s a good point. I would like to add that I also don’t not think that isn’t an un-bad idea.

Permalink Leave a Comment

The PC Police

October 27, 2005 at 4:29 am (Rant, Sports)

They are really starting to get on my nerves. The football coach at the US Air Force Academy was reprimanded and forced to apologize for saying “Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn’t mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can’t run, but it’s very obvious to me that they run extremely well.”

Black people are better athletes than white people, plain and simple. No one with a functioning brain could seriously dispute that. Without hypothesizing as to why that is a fact, I want to know who was offended? Whitey? Cry me a river. Black people? I doubt it. To anyone who actually thinks that isn’t true, answer me this: name one non-QB superstar in the NFL who isn’t black (Jeremy Shockey, Brian Urlacher, maybe). Name one superstar in the last 25 years in the NBA, other than Larry Bird, who isn’t black. Who held the past 10 world records in the 100 meters? The 200? The 110 hurdles? The long jump? Who holds the record for home runs (pre and post steroid era) and stolen bases in baseball? Who is the best golfer in the world? Who are two of the best female tennis players in the world? Who were the past 10 heavyweight boxing champions? It is absurd that indisputable facts are deemed offensive if they acknowledge a racial diaparity. When is this country going to recognize diversity other than through PC lip service? Sad.

Permalink 5 Comments

Didn’t even have to use my AK

October 27, 2005 at 4:21 am (Personal)

I’d have to say that today was a pretty good day. I set my alarm late enough so that by the time it went off, Morning Edition was over, and I was awoken to the melodious sounds of Brahams. One of the first news items I read, in my underwear, was that Scooter Libby and Karl Rove are most likely going to be indicted by the end of the week. I consider that to be very good news. Then I started to do some reading for a class I had today, and I found out that the article was for next week. I celebrated by going to the Thai lunch cart. I got an A on my paper I handed in last week. I ran 3 consecutive 8 minute miles, a feat I have never before accomplished. I got an internship I applied for a few weeks ago, which hopefully means even less time with my current employer. I had a really good conversation with my parents. The White Sox swept Texas under the rug. I bought an 85 dollar pair of jeans for 25 bucks. Then, the grand finale, as I was waiting for the bus I looked down, and there was George Dub looking up at me. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I found a quarter.

I think Homer Simpson had a similar day once.

Permalink 5 Comments

Predictions

October 27, 2005 at 4:19 am (Random, Sports)

First, the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. Then, the Cubs will win a Series. Then the world will end.

Someday, someone will invent a time machine. I will steal it, and go back in time and kill the grandparents of the guy who wrote the na na na na hey hey hey goodbye song.

—–

Permalink Leave a Comment

Longest game ever

October 26, 2005 at 3:54 pm (Sports)

The real question is, can anyone imagine sitting at a baseball game for 7 innings without beer? I probably would have left.

Permalink 2 Comments

Sign of the times

October 22, 2005 at 3:48 pm (Parkersburg)

Here is a link to an article about construction projects going on at high schools in my home town. Not very interesting, you might be saying, and you’d be right unless you read the whole thing and found this gem at the very end

Hasbargen said construction of the school’s new science wing, vocational building and day care center should begin around the beginning of December.

If I were an optimist I would say it is for the teachers’ kids, but no, it’s not.

Permalink 6 Comments

Thank you Jones

October 18, 2005 at 5:56 am (Zooporn)

Just click on this link. I dare you.

Permalink 3 Comments

Next page »