Dude, Dell sucks ass

March 30, 2005 at 11:59 pm (Rant)

I fucking hate my computer. Never, ever buy anything from Dell, unless you are writing your dissertation on innovative stress relief techniques and you want to be a subject in your own study. It may work briefly, but as soon as you have a problem you will be routed to Habib Rashfarmishini, intern from CalTech (Calcutta Institute of Technology), who will read diligently from a cue card, describing the quickest way to reformat your hard drive. You won't, because you're not an idiot, and you will quickly become resigned to accept your machine's perpetually degrading performance.
And Apple can suck it too. Why do they choose to make the iPod screen cover out of beeswax? Is it so after a month of moderate use you can hardly see what song you are about to play through all the scratches? Or is it to make you feel guilty for not "accessorizing" with the $65 vinyl iPod-cozy?

Note: any attempts to refute these claims, unlike my valid criticism of Mozilla, will be met with fire and brimstone.


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Joe Scarborough looks like an idiot

March 30, 2005 at 6:14 pm (Humor)

I know that making ol' Joe look stupid is about as hard as shooting fish in a barrel, but if you have a few minutes, this is pretty funny.

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March 22, 2005 at 2:57 am (Drugs, Movies, Personal)

I'm on vacation, in case anyone wondered. Want to gain a new perspective on life, the human race? Watch the big lebowski on mushrooms.

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Oscar Roundup

March 17, 2005 at 5:52 am (Uncategorized)

Ask someone who gives a shit.

UPDATE: Well it looks like none other then the preznit himself won an oscar for worst actor in a leading role. Hey Bill Clinton won
two grammys,
so why not?


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March 16, 2005 at 11:02 pm (Uncategorized)

Ok, I probably am the first to say this: Firefox sucks. It blows goats. Give me IE any day of the week.

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March 13, 2005 at 9:12 pm (Health)

Let me be the first (ok, maybe not THE first) to say that the
anti-smoking hysteria has gotten out of hand. Smoking is unhealthy,
expensive, unattractive, supports global corporate hegemony, and people
shouldn't do it. As a mostly-former user of tobacco products, I can say
that. It's like being black and using the N-word (which I can't do).

However, this is just ridiculous.
Montgomery County, PA is considering a ban on hiring anyone who smokes.
If you want to know why this is just a silly idea, consider this:

"It's really a huge impingement on worker privacy," said Jeremy Gruber,
legal director of the National Workrights Institute in Princeton, a
spin-off of the American Civil Liberties Union.
Gruber said it is reasonable for companies to protect worker safety by
enacting no-smoking policies at the job.
He wondered, however, whether employees would have to reveal
hoagie-eating, skydiving, or risky sexual behaviors.

I can understand employers' motivation to reduce their
health care costs, and they sure aren't getting any help from
government. But what's next, testing fat people for elevated
triglyceride levels in their blood? Tell them you won't hire them until
they stop eating at McDonald's and lose some weight? I have a better
idea. Make people who voluntarily engage in legal but self-destructive
behaviors pay their fair share of expected health care costs in each
paycheck. Consider it a down payment on your lung cancer irradiation
therapy and your hip replacement surgery. It's a legitimate argument
that a company could make and not seem paternalistic. "Do whatever the
fuck you want, but damn if we're going to subsidize the consequences."

I like this idea more and more. My former employer covered all of my
health care costs (an unbelievable perk), which by the time I left was
over $1000 per month. They made a point to put it on my paystub, even
though it was separate fom my earnings and taxes. During 4 years of
working there, I visited the doctor exactly thrice. Once it was a
dentist, and once I could have won a malpractice lawsuit. If you
interpolate those costs over the term of my employment, that's almost
50 grand. I often wondered why I couldn't opt out of the system, pocket
the cash, and pay for a doctor when and if I saw fit to consult one. I
realize now the reason had a lot to do with my director needing a cane
to walk to the elevator and see an orthopedic specialist every other
week. A director who weighed 450 pounds and could down 2 cheesestakes
like it was an appetizer.

So the point is, stop telling me what to do. Incentives always work
better than regulations. Let me smoke crack if I want to, if it doesn't
affect my performance on the job it's none of your business. But once I
have to start paying for it, I bet I'll substitute a salad for fries.

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Just what the Senate needs…

March 13, 2005 at 8:57 pm (Philly, Politics)

…another pro-life Democrat.

Of course, if that means goodbye Rick Santorum, who doesn't even live in Pennsylvania, I'll take it.


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March 11, 2005 at 6:36 pm (War)

Larry asked me to post this:

In Madrid one year ago today 191 innocent people were unceremoniously

It's easy to see what we want to out of this ghastly event. Whether
you see it as the natural consequence of a neo-con foreign policy, or
an unspeakable tragedy with no possible justification, I humbly ask
that you forget that aspect for a moment. It doesn't matter. Any
political comments in this post should be deleted.

Murder on such a large scale is incomprehensible to most of us. Laci
Peterson is murdered and it's a tragedy worthy of countless hours of
news coverage. Hundreds of civilians jump to their deaths out of a
flaming tower, leaving not much more than a sound like a gunshot and a
reddish smear on the pavement, and the predominant reaction is

Occasionally some detail pokes through the confusion and brings the
reality of the event home. What finally got me on 9/11 was the throngs
of people putting up missing person posters around NYC, quite
obviously a futile attempt to pretend their loved one wasn't dead, if
just for a little longer.

The detail that brought the Madrid atrocity home to me was the
cellphones. People near the bodybags in Madrid reported hearing a
steady stream of cellphone rings coming from the line of bodybags. The
only consolation is that maybe the recorded voice of their loved ones
heard for the last times before the battery went dead brought some
solace to them.

There are no politics on a day like that.

In related news, Islamic moderates appear to have an official voice:

Fatwa issued against Osama.


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Life + 65

March 10, 2005 at 6:51 pm (Philly)

Three teenagers convicted in Fishtown murder

In a trial marked by accounts of brutality and adolescent
treachery, a jury yesterday convicted three Fishtown teens of
first-degree murder for beating their friend Jason Sweeney to death in

When the Coias and Batzig are sentenced May 6, each faces a
mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole. Common Pleas Court
Judge Renee Cardwell Hughes could elect to add 32 1/2 to 65 years to
each life sentence for the other crimes.

Ok, I understand the need to apply all relevant statutes and
essentially "throw the book" at these people. But life plus 65 years?
What does that mean? Do they keep the rotting corpses in the cell for
another half century? Even I think that's excessive, and my preferred
sentence would have involved a roll of duct tape and the Commodore
Barry Bridge. Is there a chance that life without parole can be
commuted to something shorter?

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One and done

March 9, 2005 at 6:07 pm (Religion)

Portland's hope for postseason excitement died on the vine yesterday, as the Vikings fail to advance in the Big Sky tournament. I was going to go to the game tonight too. What? You thought I was talking about the Blazers? I gave up on them in October.

Personally, I think we lost because Jesus doesn't love us. Some of you may recall an earlier post I made on the subject of Our Lord's interest in mediocre college basketball…I'd link to it but the old site seems to have been unilaterally dismantled. Which brings me to my next point, dear readers (all 5 of you). Do people want to have posting rights on this site, or are you content to have my occasional rantings shoved down your throat? In the next week or so I am going to fully register this thing and move to our new URL: http://www.jalalablog.com. So let me know.

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