C-Span…Grr

September 13, 2007 at 9:00 pm (law, Rant, society, Television)

I pay 14 bucks a month for basic cable. I get the networks, football without static, public access, and a few randoms line E!, Discovery Channel, and C-Span. I have heard about the concept of a la carte cable, where you pay only for the channels you will actually watch. When that happens the American Revolution will finally be over. I know that I end up watching crap I wouldn’t otherwise, on random weekday nights. Exhibit 1: The Scrubs Rerun Network (which probably has another name). Exhibit 2: The Girls Next Door. I originally thought it was a documentary on Why The Terrorists Hate Us, but it is apparently a real series. Exhibit 3: I am watching C-Span. Check that, C-Span Two.

Why? Because the tag line on the bottom of the screen says “Cable TV must allow a la carte content rules.” OMG! I am so excited. Except they are talking about bandwidth limitations that prevent effective nationwide deployment of Wireless Enhanced 911 Services. Huh? Who cares about 911? I just want ESPN and Comedy Central.

I went to the FCC website to view the agenda from Tuesday’s meeting. I don’t see anything on there about me not having to stream pirated Jon Stewart monologues. But I am smart, so I used thinking and decided that the following agenda item is what I am after:

Implementation of the Cable Television Consumer Protection and Competition Act of 1992; Development of Competition and Diversity in Video Programming Distribution, Section 628(c)(5) of the Communications Act, Sunset of Exclusive Contract Prohibition (MB Docket No. 07-29); and Review of the Commission’s Program Access Rules and Examination of Programming Tying Arrangements.

But that is item 5! This thing just started; it will be hours before they get to the good stuff! Why is C-Span resorting to sensationalism to attract viewers? I don’t know what irks me more, that they blatantly lie about what is being discussed to make it seem interesting to channel surfers, or that it works. I am still watching it.

In related news, the Family and Consumer Choice Act of 2007 has in fact been introduced in Congress. Thank you, Janet Jackson’s nipple.

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