Thou shalt not covet

September 11, 2007 at 8:46 pm (Random)

…thy neighbor’s vacuum? My gay friend B has one of those bagless vacuums. You know, the one you see on TV with the film noir commercial, starring some handsome young British chap who supposedly invented the thing. I got a demo a few months ago, and it was impressive. Exactly the kind of vacuum you would expect a gay couple to have in their Pearl District condo.

I decided recently it is time for another Surge Against Cat Hair: a nearly futile endeavor with the old clunker my mom gave me 4 years ago, which pretty much just blows the stuff around. I thought I had a perfect solution, when the following email exchange took place:

Me: Can I borrow your vacuum?

B: I don’t know, I would hate to have to track you down and kick your ass if something happened to it.

Me: thinking (Oh B, there you go bringing up my ass again. I guess I started it, when I told you I needed some strong suction on my carpet)…yeah dude, I’ll try and treat it with respect.

B: Sorry bud, if it was an old Hoover I’d part with it.

Me: … Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s vacuum?

He was serious! I couldn’t believe it! Let’s recap here: this guy I know won’t let me borrow his vacuum because he is afraid I am going to break it. Think about that before you start ragging on me for my vacuuming habits next time (you know who you are).



  1. corthar said,

    I’ve been craving and begging for a Dyson for a few years now.

    And I must stick up for your gay friend…if I had a Dyson, I wouldn’t let you borrow it either.


  2. JB said,

    Come on. Buy one and bring it over. You can watch. Or better yet, you can do the vacuuming for me.

  3. TSS said,

    Dude, that’s so gay.

  4. upsetthesetup said,

    your blog has had me in chuckles for the last 10 minutes.

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