Baseball roundup

August 7, 2007 at 10:15 pm (Sports)

Earlier tonight, some roided-out freak hit a home run. A bunch of idiots in San Francisco cheered loudly, and the rest of the nation yawned. Can we move on now? ESPN, can you please can the “Chasing Aaron” hype? Tha-anks!

I can’t pretend what Bonds did Tuesday night in front of a national television audience and his adoring but myopic Giants fans is anything more than a make-believe piece of baseball drama.

I can’t pretend Bonds’ 756 homers truly matter because there’s no way of knowing how many of them were hit by Barry The Clean or Barry The Cream. I can’t pretend Bonds is the legitimate successor to Aaron because there’s simply too many questions and too much evidence to suggest otherwise.

And in the end, I can’t pretend because I believe in the purity of Aaron’s numbers, but not in coincidences. What Bonds has done, as his body has morphed from a lithe, ungodly athletic rookie into a Silver Surfer lookalike, was no coincidence. It was cheating. Rationalize and justify all you want, but Bonds had a choice. And he chose to cheat.

Amen. Enjoy it Barry. In a few years, Alex Rodriguez won’t have a * next to his name.

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