Love

April 24, 2007 at 5:50 pm (Personal)

Since my negligence has likely scared off even my most loyal readers, I figured I’d fall out of character for a moment and pour my heart out to the internets. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I have “a thing” for this girl that I work with. Well that thing has morphed into an utterly consuming, burning desire, the likes of which I have not felt for a long, long time. Possibly ever. She sits right next to me. Every word out of her mouth, every sigh, every movement, every stroke of her keyboard, drives me absolutely crazy. I can’t concentrate at work. I can’t concentrate at home. I can’t fall asleep, and when I do, she is in my dreams. We work together on a project, and she has been a mentor to me for the past few months. We have a few after-work meetings coming up, one of which is on Tuesday. Normally we would go out and get a bite to eat afterwards, and I don’t know if I am going to able to contain myself this time. I might have to tell her my true feelings. I want to go out to eat with her on a Friday. Abandon the work pretext. But I can’t date someone I work with. It is the Prime Directive. Luckily I will only work there for a few more weeks. I might just go for it anyway. I was going to wait until my last week, but I don’t know if I can. If I can’t touch her hair, kiss her neck, feel her body against mine, in the very near future, I will go crazy. I am ninety percent certain the feeling is mutual. Not knowing for sure is making me insane. But it is the most beautiful kind of insanity. Going to work each morning is both my favorite and least favorite thing to do. What will I do if she rejects me? I will be devastated. In my mind we are already married, and have 2 beautiful children. As beautiful as April. Thoughts I have never had before. People know. It must show on my face. They can see it in the way I look at her, the way I talk to her, the way I drop whatever I am doing to help her with her work. I would pick up her dry cleaning if she asked me to. She must know as well. She must see it. I see it in her. But I am afraid it is only my reflection.

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8 Comments

  1. neckfro said,

    Go big or go home.

  2. TSS said,

    You know you have to do it. Though you might want to wait until the project is done, or if won’t be in time, right when you’re gone. If you’re gut tells you she likes you too, it’s probably right.

  3. TSS said,

    Someday I’ll learn the difference between “you’re” and “your”.

  4. corthar said,

    From a girl perspective…
    don’t confess your undying love/lust/whatever. Just do it the old fashioned way— ask her out. Something like “hey, I’d really like to take you out sometime outside the context of work” should do the trick.

  5. TSS said,

    Corthar, you sound just like the judge.

  6. corthar said,

    TSS, who is “the judge”?

  7. TSS said,

    Corthar, you sound just like the judge at my trial. Why won’t they understand that my nail clippings collection is a symbol of my love?

  8. corthar said,

    why, I am the judge at your trial. I didn’t think you were paying attention.

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