Proposed Legislation

September 28, 2006 at 1:30 am (Rant)

I hereby propose the URban Integrated Nephrology Enactment:

“A. No corporation or other legal entity engaged in Commerce within the United States shall produce, manufacture, or distribute colostomy bags, unless:

1. Said colostomy bag is 100% opaque.

B. The penalty for violation of this Statute shall be summary execution.”

Please contact your Congressman immediately, before the guy I just saw smoking a joint in the Park Blocks decides to start hanging out in your neighborhood.

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4 Comments

  1. neckfro said,

    Good idea, but you might want to clarify clause A. I’m not a corporation, nor a legal entity. What if I just make clear colostomy bags in my garage? Further, you may wish to say: Whereas any exchange or distribution of colostomy bags affects interstate commerce…because the way you have it written, it seems like I could give them away.

    Jesus, three weeks and I’m already an insufferable ass. God help me.

  2. JB said,

    Well, there will always be a black market. I’m relying on consumer savvy to reject your garage colostomy imitations. Your interstate commerce line, well that’s just crazy talk.

    And don’t be so hard on yourself–you’ve been an insufferable ass for some time now.

  3. neckfro said,

    Also, you’re forced to consider the free bags given to your buddy by the VA and shit. Yeah.

  4. JB said,

    Wow…a spam comment. That’s a first; wordpress is really good about filtering those out. I don’t get it though…what’s the point? It is completely nonsensical, and there isn’t even a link to a site where you can buy fake Viagra or download zooporn. Why bother? Is this some sort of low-grade virus that is designed to bottleneck internet traffic? You’re in the wrong place if it is. I would appreciate any insight anyone has.

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