Assal Horizontology

August 15, 2006 at 4:33 pm (Random)

Last week, as this summer gig of mine was winding down, They asked me to stay here for an extra week, to do some final edits and tweaking of our document. Translation: I now have dictatorial editing power, which I welcome. I deserve it.

I spent so much time in front of my computer last week, my finger was starting to grow whiskers. My self-medication regime was approaching a level it hadn’t seen since college. I thought I would come back here, sit around each day for a few hours, get in some much needed beach time, and call it quits. That was before the project coordinator cancelled her vacation to come up here and “help” me with some editorial “suggestions.” Let me just say the red pen industry has a new market segment, and her name is K.

The problem is, most of it is deserved. The Schriz has the design prowess of a gnat. Comments on one of the hippies’ page included “use complete sentences.” No kidding. Fish girl, god bless her, did a pretty good job. I haven’t been able to look at Plant Lady’s revised pages yet, but hopefully they have been translated into English since the last time I saw them. The other hippie wanted to use a photo of human fecal matter to highlight the waste management problems associated with overcrowding during fishing season. I can just imagine how my next job interview would go:

Employer: So, I have been leafing through your portfolio.

Me: Yes sir.

Employer: Is that a piece of shit on page 23?

Me: Yes sir.

Employer: Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

I can finally see why the world produces people like Kim Jong Il.


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