Mind dump

May 11, 2006 at 9:40 pm (Rant)

I'm getting really tired of the fauxhawk-sportin' barista at my local coffee shop. This applies to several local coffee shops. When I say "room for cream" I don't mean I want to add 1/3 cup of half-and-half. A tablespoon, maybe. So why do I find myself only getting 2/3 a cup of coffee half the time these days? This is a growing phenomenon. Is there a coffee shortage? I remember when Wendy's stopped putting tomatoes on your sandwhich unless you asked for them, it was due to some kind of tomato crop failure a year or 2 ago. Whatever it is, I blame Hugo Chavez.

Will somebody please give OPB money? Make the pledge drive stop, please make it stop. I can't think of anything that annoys me more than waking up to some local Tier-B celebrity acting excited about a free coffee mug and begging you to write a check. It's pathetic the way they grovel, it really is. I think they should have a bunch of mini fund drives throughout the year rather than these painful marathons. I heard about some station somewhere that was trying that this year, and good lord I hope it works. I bet people would be more interested if they could, for example, win baseball tickets in July by pledging a hundred bucks or so. As it is now, all I do is change the channel because it will go on for 15 minutes.

Ok, last year about this time I got guilted into pledging. I was like "you know, I really do enjoy their programming, and I am basically a free rider" so I called and gave them 50 bucks. Not 10 minutes later, they offered a special where you got some free book if you gave them $60. Now, clearly they knew this was coming down the pipe, so why didn't they try to get me to up my pledge? I would have in a heartbeat…all I get for my 50 bucks is All Things Considered and a really bad weather report in the morning? Needless to say this year I will be waiting until the really sweet deal is offered…which I will miss…because I won't be listening…because I change the channel whenever the pledge drive comes on.



  1. jones said,

    you’re going to be one of those extra-cranky old men, aren’t you.

  2. JB said,

    As long as no one stands in between me and my caffeine, nobody gets hurt.

  3. TSS said,

    I feel bad adding a comment here, because the comedy is just so perfect the way it is. Oh well, here I am anyway.

    So yeah. Here’s me, commenting on how funny this was before I commented.

  4. JB said,

    Lately they have been asking people for Haiku to describe how much you love OPB. Here is my submission:

    For the love of god
    Stop begging me for money
    It is pathetic

    Feel free to add your own Haiku

  5. TSS said,

    Just change the station
    Until the drive is over
    You don’t have to pledge

  6. TSS said,

    I’m a freeloader
    Donaters are gullible
    Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah

  7. JB said,

    My alarm goes off
    And the first thing I hear is
    Panhandlers, man.

  8. TSS said,

    Dude. You only put 4 syllables in the last line.

  9. JB said,


  10. TSS said,

    “dlers” is one syllable. Wear was ya razed, anyhow?


  11. JB said,

    Poetic license, brah.

  12. garlic said,

    I feel more ripped off if I pay $60 for some dumb book or mug or bag, then if I think to myself that I’ve donated $60.

    WBEZ in chicago has been pimping their ‘leadership circle’ which are people who donate $1000 to the station. They’re a good cause, sure, but after $60, I want the rest of my charity money to help starving people or something, not to help fund something that maybe the public doesn’t want, like opera or theatre or shit.

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