The Wimpster

October 4, 2005 at 5:43 am (Random, Rant)

My new friend Anita recently introduced me to the term “wimpster,” which is a far more accurate term to describe the demographic more commonly referred to as “hipsters.” (See RCR for some context.) In a moment of creative clairvoyance, I have come up with the following lyric, which I hereby dub “The Wimpster”:

My wardrobe is so retro-suave
My plaid sport coat is green and mauve
Devastatingly ironic
I decry all things iconic
I’m a wimpster

I blame George Bush for all my ills
I do not hear you, media shrills
I do not know my sen’tors name
Learning and voting are so lame
I’m a wimpster

I wear my Buddy Holly glasses
To my film-in-culture classes
I used to want to be in Weezer
‘Till their fame turned them to geezers
I’m a wimpster

Why must everyone sell out?
They just don’t know what it’s about
If everyone were more like me
We’d have so much diversity
I am so real, I’m the ideal
I’m a wimpster
Please don’t hurt me

Not bad for a guy with no talent, eh? Suggestions welcome. Anyone who can fit in the word “fraggle” gets co-writing credits.



  1. LogJammin said,

    -Here’s a sorry attempt at incorporating a few themes not mentioned in your previous lyrics. It’s lame, so by hipster standards it’s fucking cool.—-Gotta have a Pabst in handDon’t like beer, just the canParty with my ‘Fraggle’ girlPBR at the DougFir I’m a wimpster

  2. JB said,

    Not bad. You could also sayMy girlfriend looks like a fraggle’Cause she’s so goddamn bedraggled.But that would be mean.

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