Napoleon Dynamite

April 18, 2005 at 8:32 pm (Music, Rant)

Want to make a film that critics will call an avant-garde social commentary? Here’s what you’ll need:

A nice batch of hackneyed, stereotypical characters, devoid of any
personality or charisma whatsoever. Make sure to include in your
blend a nice helping of Teenage Outcast, a pinch of Ethnic Minority, a
dash of Cool Kids, and at least one teaspoon of sleazy Thirty-something
Who Could Have Been Great. Script the characters so they interact
through dry, monotonous dialogue, interspersed with awkward
pauses. Add plots to taste, although you won’t get a review in
the Village Voice that way. Mix well Somewhere in Middle America,
and viola! One of the worst movies ever.

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5 Comments

  1. corthar said,

    Never seen it. However, I believe you, due to my personal reviewer- my mother. She loved it. If she loves it, I’ll hate it. This equation is fail-proof. “Oh, it’s so funny. It’s full of notable quotables (what?) like You Want Your Tots?” she said to me. (In a very scary voice- the tots part).That was all it took to convince me to abstain from that shit forever.Whenever I hear or read about that movie, that is all I can hear in my head- my mom saying “You want your tots” in that scary voice. So thanks a lot for your entry. Besides, I’m still boycotting Hollywood. What a bunch of whiny celebrity bitches.

  2. JB said,

    The tots scene was probably the “funniest” in the whole movie. Funny here is of course a relative term.

  3. Underused said,

    I thought the whole thing was effing hilarious.

  4. booyah said,

    I have numchuck skills.

  5. JB said,

    Hilarious is also a relative term…some people find throwing a hammer through the screen really amusing.

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