It’s official

April 12, 2005 at 10:02 pm (Parkersburg)

Going to west Virginia? You better learn English.

(Lawmakers) voted to make English the official language of West Virginia.

The language amendment was quietly inserted into a bill addressing the
number of members that cities can appoint to boards of parks and
recreation. Among mundane details about record-keeping, the amendment
adds the provision that “English shall be the official language of the
State of West Virginia.”

Senate Majority Whip Billy Wayne Bailey
successfully offered that change to House Bill 2782 amid a flurry of
bills moving back and forth between the House and Senate on Saturday,
the last night of the 60-day legislative session.

“I just told the members that the amendment clarifies the way in which documents are produced,” Bailey, a Democrat, said Monday.

As a lifetime West Virginian, I say “Good job, Billy Wayne.” Why waste
time on silly causes like education, job creation and healthcare when
there are clearly far more pressing issues that voters care about. Other
reactions included:

“Oy vey,” said the state’s Jew.

“Que pena,” said the state’s 6 hispanic residents, who incidentally all work at El Ranchero.

“There go my plans to blow up the Cass Scenic Railroad,” said Osama bin Laden.

“drkkhuuyyt sssshyhdnng jerrtinnlil,” said the aliens who have apparently taken over the Capitol.

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8 Comments

  1. Grundle said,

    AND A GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!

  2. corthar said,

    pretty humorous.

  3. Underused said,

    Casi el cielo, montañas azules del oeste del canto de Virginia, vida del río del shenandoah es viejo allí, más viejos que los árboles más jóvenes que pertenecen las montañas, soplando como los caminos de un país de la brisa, me llevan el hogar el lugar, yo Virginia del oeste, momma de la montaña me toman el hogar, caminos de país

  4. jones said,

    is it possible you have more time on your hands now than when you were working?

  5. JB said,

    Not really. At least not this week. Hey do you have an iron?

  6. booyah said,

    India’s department of official language offers its website (http://rajbhasha.nic.in/) in both hindi and english. 😀

  7. larry said,

    I’ve met several native West Virginians who spoke pretty poor English. I wonder how they’ll fare with this new rule?An aside, isn’t this one of those things that’ll just get revoked as soon as the new legislative session starts?

  8. JB said,

    Why bother revoking it? Why bother passing it in the first place?

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