Dude, Dell sucks ass

March 30, 2005 at 11:59 pm (Rant)

I fucking hate my computer. Never, ever buy anything from Dell, unless you are writing your dissertation on innovative stress relief techniques and you want to be a subject in your own study. It may work briefly, but as soon as you have a problem you will be routed to Habib Rashfarmishini, intern from CalTech (Calcutta Institute of Technology), who will read diligently from a cue card, describing the quickest way to reformat your hard drive. You won't, because you're not an idiot, and you will quickly become resigned to accept your machine's perpetually degrading performance.
And Apple can suck it too. Why do they choose to make the iPod screen cover out of beeswax? Is it so after a month of moderate use you can hardly see what song you are about to play through all the scratches? Or is it to make you feel guilty for not "accessorizing" with the $65 vinyl iPod-cozy?

Note: any attempts to refute these claims, unlike my valid criticism of Mozilla, will be met with fire and brimstone.

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10 Comments

  1. booyah said,

    yes, dell sucks balls.

  2. LogJammin said,

    once again…

  3. corthar said,

    I am not familiar with the ipod, unfortunately. However, I can state that your computer problems would improve greatly if you would trash your Dell and buy an Apple with the Mac platform.

  4. e said,

    sony makes good shit. buy sony. plus, japanese people like orgies. orgies are good.

  5. Underused said,

    I bought my ipod cozy for $10. You know Jbad, not everything you own has to be Gucci. Why do you need to reformat your hard drive? You know, you have at least 2 friends with computer engineering degrees. You could give one of us a call instead of Habib. No promises, but I’ve fixed a few computers over the phone before.

  6. larry said,

    Yeah, I could get your ‘puter running fast pretty easily. It would help alot if I were there though. And I’m not sure about Sony’s other products, but the Vaio is a piece of shit. I know 3 people who got one and it broke within 3 months, one of them being my Dad. I have a Dell that’s 8 years old and it’s never had much of a problem, other then being an old slow piece of crap. For whatever that’s worth. I have heard that they’ve been cutting back on their “legendary” customer service (which was supossed to be their best selling point).Macs are hardly trash, but I see no compelling reason to get one. The ‘puter I would get would be one I built myself, but I understand that’s not for everyone.

  7. Underused said,

    I made a computer once. It was made out of a magnet, a hair pin, a rubber band, and a Dell Optiplex. Actually, I didn’t end up needing the magnet, hair pin, and rubber band.

  8. James said,

    I’ll have to agree with dell sucking, it shouldn’t take 7 weeks to ship a product to me, and when I inquire about it, I shouldn’t be treated like an idiot.Apple on the other hand, I have only recieved excellent customer service from, and I would reccomend anyone to buy ANY apple product. It is a shame how easily iPods scratch though, but I don’t really think its a big problem

  9. dell employee said,

    I work at dell and they do suck, if you call and treated bad it’s b/c they treat there employees like shit. Don’t ask b/c this is my last week after 2yrs. They pay good but treat you like your in jail. This gets passed on to the customer, and in the next 2-3 yrs 90% of the jobs will be out of the country. They hired all these people for x-mas but didn’t tell them it was just for 2 months and then one day fired about 600 people and had to bring in extra security for it. This left them short handed so instead of hireing more people they force us to work OT with no extra pay. The way they treat ther employees comes across through the whole business and the customer gets the shit in of it b/c everyone who works for the company hates them and just doesn’t care.

  10. nobody said,

    I hate Dell. They’re fucking cheezy computers. I prefer Apple more but if you hate apple, don’t waste your money on a fucked up dell; buy an HP if you’re too used to PC’s.

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